The other day after yet another discouraging e-mail from Holt, I excused myself to my room, closed the door and wept face down on my bed. Within 2 min, my 8 year old, Faith, came barging in to tattle on her little brother "MOM!!! Hank just... Mom, are you o.k.?" I tried to hide my face in the blankets while I composed myself. She came to the edge of the bed and asked "Mommy, are you sad because Joshy isn't home yet?" "Yes baby. My heart really hurts to be away from him for so long." She stood there in front of me at a loss for words. With my face still buried in my hands, I felt her sweet little fingers stroke my hair. She broke the silence when she started praying over me. She said "Dear Jesus, we have faith that you know what you are doing. And I know that you could have already had Joshy home if you wanted to because you can do anything. But I also know that sometimes you let us hurt, because you want to teach us something that we can only learn when it hurts. Please help us to learn whatever it is that you want to teach us and then bring Joshua home super soon. I love you. Amen."
I sat in awe of God's incredible provision, in awe that my child was ministering to me, in awe of the wisdom discernment and faith of this child, in awe that when she had no words to comfort me, she knew that the Great Comforter was always right there. In this agonizing wait, He IS showing Himself so tangibly. After I semi-composed myself, I told her "You know Faith, Joshua is still so young that he may not even know that he was an orphan who now has an adoring family waiting for him to come home. Although, he may have a faint idea of who we are from the pictures we sent him, we are not real to him right now, and so he cant possibly love us yet. But WE know HE exists and we already love him desperately. We know specific details about him, we have his room and his clothes all ready for him, we pray for him every day, we miss him every second, we feel incomplete without him here, we yearn for him to be home with us where he belongs, we cry over his absence, and pray for the day he will finally be in our arms. If nothing else, this painful wait for Joshua can teach us one thing. Now, we know a fraction of how God feels when one of his children are separated from Him. Some people don't know God exists because they are just babies, like Joshua. But some people may not know He really exists until they are 40 or 80! And the whole time God knows every detail about them, He is yearning for them, preparing a place for them, wanting to share life together, desperately loving them, wanting them safely in His arms, and all the while He patiently waits for them to come home." And that is when Faith said "Ya... But the real reason I came in here is because Hank pushed me." ... All I could do was laugh! Our God sure has a wonderful sense if comedic timing, doesn't He?!
I sat in awe of God's incredible provision, in awe that my child was ministering to me, in awe of the wisdom discernment and faith of this child, in awe that when she had no words to comfort me, she knew that the Great Comforter was always right there. In this agonizing wait, He IS showing Himself so tangibly. After I semi-composed myself, I told her "You know Faith, Joshua is still so young that he may not even know that he was an orphan who now has an adoring family waiting for him to come home. Although, he may have a faint idea of who we are from the pictures we sent him, we are not real to him right now, and so he cant possibly love us yet. But WE know HE exists and we already love him desperately. We know specific details about him, we have his room and his clothes all ready for him, we pray for him every day, we miss him every second, we feel incomplete without him here, we yearn for him to be home with us where he belongs, we cry over his absence, and pray for the day he will finally be in our arms. If nothing else, this painful wait for Joshua can teach us one thing. Now, we know a fraction of how God feels when one of his children are separated from Him. Some people don't know God exists because they are just babies, like Joshua. But some people may not know He really exists until they are 40 or 80! And the whole time God knows every detail about them, He is yearning for them, preparing a place for them, wanting to share life together, desperately loving them, wanting them safely in His arms, and all the while He patiently waits for them to come home." And that is when Faith said "Ya... But the real reason I came in here is because Hank pushed me." ... All I could do was laugh! Our God sure has a wonderful sense if comedic timing, doesn't He?!
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